A Story about My Mom
My Mom is one of the coolest people I've ever met. She was born in Billings, Montana on January 4, 1950. That makes her a Montana Native. She grew up in the city, but moved to The Cabin in her 20s. Life at the cabin wasn't easy. My parents were pretty darn poor the entire time we lived there. To help reduce the cost of living, we raised a lot of animals. We had chickens for eggs, goats for milk, rabbits to eat and every so often, we'd get a couple of pigs to raise for food.
The pigs presented an interesting problem: bears. Bears love pigs. I can remember a couple of times where bears would sneak in and run off with one of the pigs for dinner. Bears were dangerous and my parents didn't like them - both for fear they'd harm one of us, but more because they'd harm the animals and our food supply. Bears were also good eatin', so if there was one hanging around, my parents didn't hesitate to try and shoot it.
When I was 2 years old, I got a puppy for my birthday. We named him "Woofer". He grew into a big ol' Hound Dog and turned out to be great at treeing bears. He had a very deep bark that would apparently scare them into climbing trees, making them easy targets.
The story I'd like to tell about my Mom happened when I was a kid. I don't know how old I was - but I was young enough that I don't remember the story. My dad was out of town, and a bear had been hanging around. My Mom was not happy and set out one day with the rifle and Woofer. They ended up getting the bear up a tree and my Mom shot him down. Apparently, she was pretty mad at the bear for threatening her children and all. She hauled him back to the "skinning tree", which was next to our house. I can see her now, yelling at the bear, telling him he deserved it and what a cocksucker he was. Foaming at the mouth, she whipped out her hunting knife, grabbed him by the balls, and sliced them right off. Still swearing at him, she grabbed a hammer and nail, and angrily nailed his nuts to a tree. "Serves you right you motherfucker", she probably muttered to herself.
To this day, that nail is still here and a small tuft of hair hangs from it. I apologize for the swearing in this story, but my Mom has always cussed like a sailor. 
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my Mom for all she's taught me. One of the things I've always admired about her is how happy she is all the time. She's a true optimist and enjoys almost everything she does, from being a "Burn Boss" to running in marathons. She's an incredible lady and I'm very proud to call her my Mom. Happy Mother's Day Mom!