Raible Designs

Technical Confidence vs. Fitness Confidence

It figures, just as I'm about to do a major push to get some writing done on Spring Live, I wake up with a cold. It was bound to happen since Abbie and Julie are already in the midst of it. For some reason, I thought I could avoid it.

Three years ago, as I was entering into independent consulting, I could've avoided it. Back then, I was in shape and riding my bike all the time. When I first started as an independent, I had no time to exercise, but I was in such good shape that it took me well over a month to start gaining any weight. That summer was awful - I had no time to exercise and the commute was around an hour. But the pay was awesome and the technology was even cooler. It was summer 2001 and because of my new contract, I was learning all about JUnit, Ant, TDD and Struts.

Reflecting back on that summer, and the past couple of years, I seem to go through various levels of "confidence." There are two extremes for me, and I tend to reside in one or the other. The first is "technical confidence" and the second is "fitness confidence." When I'm coding like a madman, learning new stuff, and deploying release - I'm very technically confident. I don't feel like I need to learn anything new. I feel like I'm on the right track, and I'm generally pretty happy. This is, until I leave the computer. When I start interacting with my family and friends, I start to realize how out of shape I am. In order to get things done, I tend to give up exercising. Part of it is because its easy to give up, and sometimes I just feel guilty leaving Julie to run off and exercise - especially when she's pregnant with a sick kid in her arms.

In order for me to get in shape, it takes quite a bit. In the past when I've been in shape, I usually ride my bike 6 days a week. This is a time consuming effort, averaging about 2 hours per day. However, after I've done this for about a month, my "fitness confidence" starts to rise and I really enjoy being outside or working out. The downside is that when I find time to sit down at the computer, I see a flurry of e-mail and blogs about cool new technologies. My technical confidence plummets.

It's weird. I wish I could find a balance. I wish I had more drive to improve my fitness confidence right now. Unfortunately, many deadlines are looming and I need to sit here in front of the computer to get them done. I definitely need to turn this around. Health is one of the most important things in the world, and I'm so out of shape its pathetic.

The Last Day

Today is my last day at my current client. It's been a great experience and the last couple of weeks have been particularly enjoyable. We demoed the app I've been building (a Job Posting/Resume Builder) this week and everyone loved it. It's now ready to go into production, so hopefully the "new guy" won't have to do much work. It's unfortunate that it couldn't go into production sooner - but they want to deploy on WebSphere instead of Tomcat, so they'll have to figure that out first.

I was originally scheduled to dive head-first into open source at EJB Solutions next week, but managed to wiggle my way into a week off. I was already planning on taking the 2nd week of June off to work on Spring Live - and now I get 2 weeks! I'm pumped to have two weeks off - too bad I have work to do. Oh well, I expect to work crazy hours and burn the midnight oil a lot. That way, I can spend the days playing with Abbie and giving Julie some much needed rest.

The best part? On Thursday, I'm flying out to San Diego to pick up my new VW Bus. My dad is going to meet me there and we'll be embarking on Raible Road Trip #8 to drive it back to Denver. This weekend I'm going to stock a toolbox to deal with any breakdowns along the way. It should be a good time - I love road trips. So if you don't hear much from me for the next couple of weeks, I'm probably writing or enjoying beers on the patio. ;-)

Mmmm, beeerrrr - have a good holiday weekend y'all!

Recovering

Yesterday I got inspired to get myself out of this funk and go to a local VW Show with the fam. I woke up, took a shower and almost passed out. Probably from standing up more than I'm used to - or the dizziness that constantly surrounds me. After resting awhile and popping a pain killer, we jumped in the car and headed out to Golden. The show was awesome and I saw lots of nice buses and bugs - and even joined the Colorado VW Bus Club. I felt dizzy most of the time, still no appetite - but nevertheless - I was active. It felt great. I spent the rest of the day on the couch with passing fevers.

This morning I woke up determined to go to work. After waking up, I headed into the living room with breakfast. Julie took my temperature and said it was around 101. So I popped some Tylenol and decided to rest for an hour before heading into the office. After resting and taking a cold shower - I got dressed and headed into the office (40 minutes North). I was sweating so bad - I guess from the fever breaking - that I had to take a towel with me for the trip. Anyway, to make a long story longer - I made it to the office and worked most of the day w/o any issues. I also managed to submit my two weeks notice to my current client. He wasn't surprised and said he'd been expecting it sooner or later.

So where am I off to? EJB Solutions - the inventors of Out-of-the-Box - for a 3-month contract. I grew to love Out-of-the-Box after my last Linux install and I'm very excited about working on a product I love. Here's the best part. I asked them what I might be working on for the first month. Here is their response:

...updating sample applications, especially those using Hibernate, XDoclet, and Struts to bring them up to date with the latest versions, recommended idioms, beef them up, etc.

Sounds like fun, eh? I'm pumped and can't wait to start in two weeks! Another intriguing factor for me was I can ride my bike into the office (when I do go in) and it's shorts and t-shirts all summer. Denver summers + riding bike to work + shorts and t-shirts allowed at work = a very happy Java Developer. The contract is scheduled to end when Raible #2 is born (Labor Day Weekend - September 3rd). After that, I'm taking a month off to be a good Dad and hopefully I'll be able to find another contract starting in October.

As far as my illness and contributing to open source, I've come to realize that my body is capable of amazing feats. Sleeping 2-3 hours a night, coding 20-some hours per day. But it's no life for me. However, it was a life I was planning on living all the way until Spring Live is finished in late June (right before JavaOne). I'd still like to finish the book by then, but it's going to take a serious shift in priorities. Which basically means, drop everything and work on the book.

I'll probably still try to get AppFuse 1.5 documented and released by the end of the month - but then I really need to virtually abandon all my open source contributions. It's just the only way I can see to pump out 150 pages of Spring stuff in 1 week off + a bunch of late nights. I still plan on blogging a lot b/c when I'm busy I tend to blog more. I think AppFuse could use the lack-of-development for awhile - it wouldn't hurt to stabilize the code-base over the summer.

Bleeehhhh

It's been a week and a half now since I started feeling sick. Don't worry, I'm not dead. We used to live out by the intersection where the accident happened and one of our old neighbors drove a blue Dodge Durango. Hopefully they're OK. Regardless, this is a tragedy that my words surely cannot help.

We did make a trip to the Emergency Room on Thursday night (which also happened to be Julie's birthday). We decided to go to the ER because my fever hit 105 and we figured the ER could tell us something about my affliction. After CAT Scans and a spinal tap (among other things), they came to the same conclusion as my doctor on Monday - "some kind of virus, hopefully you'll get better in a week or two." The good news is it's not Menengitis, Mono or West Nile. Wednesday and Thursday of last week were the worst - where I spent pretty much all day in bed. If I was awake, I had a dull-throbbing headache and a fever.

The pain isn't too bad, but the body aches and brain-cloudiness are enough to keep me from working or wanting to do anything. I'm expecting that I'll simply wake up one day and I'll just feel better. I can't wait - I'm tired of having 2-3 fevers per day. I also feel like my todo list is just getting longer with my lack of productivity. Oh well, I'm sure there are some parts of my body that are enjoying the lack of stress.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Ever since last Tuesday, I've felt like shit. My sickness has mostly been body aches and dizziness. Body aches like you get when you sleep too much. Dizziness like when you stand up too fast. It started shortly after I finished work on Tuesday and resulted in a 7:00 p.m. bedtime for me that night. The next day, I felt good enough to wake up at 4:00 a.m. and knock out a bunch of code. When I went on a bike ride on Wednesday afternoon, the dizziness started again - fading in and out every few minutes. I was still able to climb the mountain, but I was pretty damn slow. Over the next few days, the dizziness has increased from being prevalent in the evenings to disrupting my whole day.

Yesterday, for Mother's Day, we went out to a nice brunch and I downed a few Mimosas. By the time the meal was over, I was holding my stomach in pain. I cured the pain with an afternoon nap - but woke up with a fever. The fever hung around for a few hours, but eventually broke. Today was more of the same: dizziness, pain in my stomach, body pains and loss of appetite. We figured it was about time I went to a Doctor. We had suspicions - everything from an ulcer to colon cancer. Yeah, Julie kept giggling with the though of a Barium Enema for yours truly.

Unfortunately, the doctor did not have a quick and simple diagnosis of my affliction. He said that I have all the symptoms of West Nile, but it's too early and I haven't seen any mosquitos. He came to the conclusion that its some kind of virus and hopefully I'll be better in a week or so. They extracted my fluids for testing - so hopefully they'll have some more information for me tomorrow. In the meantime, I remain slightly feverish, a little dizzy and my body is engulfed in a dull pain. It's not a crippling illness, just annoying - annoying enough to keep me de-motivated for many computer-related activities. Too bad I have two clients that want releases this week, as well as AppFuse 1.5 final.

If you don't hear from me in the next few days, its likely gotten worse.

Update: The doctor called this morning (the day after the above post) and said all my fluids came back normal. Therefore, they just think it's a virus of some sort. Thanks to all who commented - I wish it was just exhaustion. Unfortunately, it seems to be much worse than that since I tend to recover from exhaustion in a couple of days. Now I'm just hoping that I'll recover before Denver's NFJS.

Being an independent sucks

Richard Monson-Haefel seems to hate being an independent consultant. Personally, I love it - but I've only been doing it for 3 years. He's been independent for 5. I hope when my 5 year anniversary rolls around - I'm not looking for a full-time gig. But you never know. One of the things that I see a lot of independent consultants doing wrong is traveling. Traveling sucks - plain and simple. Being away from your family in the name of a higher hourly rate seems stupid. Then again, I've been fortunate enough to always find work in Denver - half of it where I'm working from home. I do realize that a lot of independents don't live in a tech-rich town like Denver, but why don't you move! Actually, the only reason we're still in Denver over West Palm or San Diego is because the contracts keep flowing. If they dry up - yeah, we'll probably be moving closer to the ocean. But if we move and I'm traveling for gigs - what's the point? I guess Julie's happiness (she loves the ocean) plays a part, eh? ;-)

I traveled a lot in March and April, but I don't plan on doing too many more stints like that. I guess June-July might be a bit rough with JavaOne and OsCon, but after that - I hope to stay put. We'll see - let's hope I get lucky enough to continue finding local contracts.

Glad I'm not in Vegas

Posts like this make me glad I'm not in Vegas for the TheServerSide Symposium. Sure it'd be fun to see a bunch of great speakers and hang out some smart folks - but the lack of sleep would kill a lot of that enthusiasm. I think Vegas is a great place for a bachelor party but not for a conference. At a bachelor party, you're expected to be a vegetable the next day - but at a conference...

To make matters worse, I'd be the guy that was up until 8 a.m. gambling and boozing like a madman. Glad I'm not in Vegas - I'd be like a kid in a candy store.

The real reason I'm not in Vegas? My mom is flying in tonight for the weekend. It is Mother's Day weekend after all.

FYI: Blogs covering the Symposium.

[House Project] First Wall

Bob the Builder told us they'd have all the framing done this week. Now we're starting to believe him!

Cherry Creek Trail

80 degrees in Denver today made it perfect for a nice ride up Cherry Creek Trail. If you've never done it, I highly recommend it. It's an easy but technical dirt trail right in the heart of Denver. Of course, there's also a paved trail along the same route - so you get the best of both worlds.

[House Project] Foundation done, interior walls almost gone

This past week, they construction guys did a lot to get the floor on our new addition - as well as tear down the walls of the existing interior. Can you believe they discovered the walls had no insulation?! Bob told us yesterday that he expects them to have all the framing done by the end of this week. If he really means all the framing, I'll be pretty damn impressed. Below are some pics I snapped over the weekend - click on them to more.