Matt RaibleMatt Raible is a Java Champion and Developer Advocate at Okta. developer.okta.com

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10+ YEARS


Over 10 years ago, I wrote my first blog post. Since then, I've authored books, had kids, traveled the world, found Trish and blogged about it all.

No More Kids

I've only ever wanted two kids. However, Julie has been playing with the idea of 4 ever since we had Jack. Her thought is "they're so damn perfect, let's have more!" I've always wanted 2, and so did she when we first met - but she grew up with a sister and they've always been best friends. Abbie doesn't have a sister, and Julie doesn't want an odd number of kids - hence her slight desire for four.

This Friday, all this talk of possibly having 4 kids will come to an end. I'm heading into the doctor's office for the Big V and will lose my ability to reproduce. I'm terrified, but hopefully the drugs will be good enough to ease my fears (and pain afterwards).

I'm supposed to "take it easy" for a week afterwards and not lift anything more than 10 pounds. This means I can't pick up Abbie or Jack, and I can barely pick up my backpack (w/ laptop) to go to work. No riding to work either. With all the "you can't dos", it almost seems like a mini-vacation. However, the thought of getting my nuts cut still sends chills down my spine.

Posted in General at Mar 30 2005, 12:45:58 PM MST 29 Comments
Comments:

Matt, don't make the mistake a friend of mine did by using the 24 hours after the surgery that you're supposed to be resting as an excuse to sit in front of the computer -- or if you must, use the Powerbook from bed. :) He regretted spending a few hours at his desk in a most painful manner. Good luck.

Posted by Mark on March 30, 2005 at 02:19 PM MST #

The thought of getting your nuts cut off is sending chills down MY spine. Enjoy them while they are still on :-) And all the best with the recovery (both physical and mental).

Posted by SandyBoy on March 30, 2005 at 02:36 PM MST #

> However, the thought of getting my nuts cut still sends chills down my spine. Uhm, ditto. But thanks for sharing.

Posted by Craig on March 30, 2005 at 02:37 PM MST #

A post on a personal matter deserves some personal advice: expanding on what Mark said, DO NOT put on jeans on Monday and sit upright at your desk all day, regardless of how much better you feel. Trust me on this one. If you can work from home all week, laying back in a recliner with a keyboard (or PowerBook) placed gingerly on your lap*, do it.

And really, don't be scared. The first couple of days of recovery are more painful than the procedure itself, and even they aren't so bad. It'll be a few weeks before you're bounding up and down stairs again, but you'll be fine.

Tim, father of three (not four)

*Really, it should be placed on your legs, properly speaking. Your "lap" is kind of off limits for a while.

Posted by Tim Berglund on March 30, 2005 at 03:06 PM MST #

Matt, I've already got 3 (all perfect, of course!) and am considering the big V (as in, I made the appt. but might cancel). I'm still trying to figure out how much it's going to cost after insurance. Don't know about you, but nobody sent me any literature telling me all the bad stuff until *after* I scheduled the procedure.

Mark -- I was going to say I've read that the radiation and heat from regular use of a laptop increases the chance of reproductive problems in men, but I guess in this case it won't matter anymore...

Posted by gerryg on March 30, 2005 at 06:02 PM MST #

All the best Matt. We have two great boys and my wife wants a little girl. Its a bit hard at the moment as we are running out of space for the two we have and cost of buying or renting something big is quite expensive in the area we live. All the best. Molly

Posted by Phillip "Molly" Malone on March 30, 2005 at 07:25 PM MST #

Does that mean AppFuse 1.8 with new features like acegi security, Spring Webflow, JMS, etc, will not be coming out any sooner then? :-) I just got married last December and not planning to have kid any time soon. I think I might keep my nuts a little longer. Sorry, can't share your pain...

Posted by Vui Lo on March 30, 2005 at 09:42 PM MST #

Good Luck. I have a 6 month Daughter and still on the early stages of parenthood. But sooner or later would be faced with the Big Question. Thanks for sharing. BTW, which is safer, better and easier: On Men or Women?

Posted by Muthu Ramadoss on March 30, 2005 at 09:44 PM MST #

Had mine done about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Have two great kids and don't regret having done it.

What they mean when they say 24 hours is really more like 48. And when they tell you to make sure to wear something supportive (i.e. jock strap) believe me it makes a significant difference when your boys aren't bouncing around down there. And don't forget the ice pack!

Anyhow, I would say that life had returned to near normal after about the two week mark. And in the end just think of the alternative - something you didn't want that will be with you for many years to come. Good luck, it really isn't that bad.

Btw, Muthu, it is safer, and easier on men, which I guess makes it 'easier'.?. Reason being is it is considered to be major surgery for a woman as well as ends up screwing with their hormones (you dont really want that do you? ;-)

Posted by Harold Neiper on March 30, 2005 at 10:33 PM MST #

Vui - yes, this surgery will likely impact my ability to finish up AppFuse 1.8. :-(

As far as Spring Web Flow and JMS being part of the release - I never signed up for that AFAIK. The roadmap describes the features I plan on adding. The current CVS is pretty stable and the main pieces of 1.8 are already done.

Everyone else - thanks for the advice!

Posted by Matt Raible on March 30, 2005 at 11:11 PM MST #

Brrr, glad it isn't me who's having his nuts cut. All the best Matt! Good luck with the recovery.

Posted by Koen on March 31, 2005 at 12:27 AM MST #

Well Matt, you can always get testicular prosthetic implants, or neuticles. :)

Posted by Franz Garsombke on March 31, 2005 at 01:06 AM MST #

You guys are really courageous ones, I can't think of me doing that! I didn't know the 'big V' was something one could ask for before reading this post... My only hope is my wife never hears about it ;-)

Posted by thogau on March 31, 2005 at 01:27 AM MST #

Just DON'T do it.
My brother lost his child in a car accident some years ago. The whole family was destroyed. Now he has a one year old son - new life, new hopes, new future.
You can never know what the future brings, so don't do the mistake to think only for today and tomorow and with only one scenario.

Posted by Ahmed Mohombe on March 31, 2005 at 03:08 AM MST #

"...However, the thought of getting my nuts cut..." ?!? Hopefully you don't mean this literally? But if so, you should most definitely get a second opinion from a doctor other than your current vet! ;-) All the best Matt!

Posted by en on March 31, 2005 at 04:54 AM MST #

Oh, and btw Matt... Is it a coincidence that you are doing this on April' Fools day? :-D

Posted by en on March 31, 2005 at 05:00 AM MST #

TOO MUCH INFORMATION, DUDE!!!! Seriously.

Posted by arrrrrghh on March 31, 2005 at 06:34 AM MST #

Yeah, gonna have to agree. For something that I read as a tech. blog, this probably falls into the TMI category :)

Posted by TMI on March 31, 2005 at 07:49 AM MST #

Oh, my bad. I now see why there are "All/Java/General" links in the top banner!

Posted by TMI on March 31, 2005 at 07:50 AM MST #

What, still no mention of this on TSS?

Posted by JJ on March 31, 2005 at 10:54 AM MST #

What gave me pause was when they told me that the procedure may not work. It seems that the vas deferens can grow back again.

Posted by John Tangney on March 31, 2005 at 01:06 PM MST #

There are alternatives (http://www.ccli.org/nfp/effect1.shtml)
"the fact that some methods of NFP can be 99% effective in the avoidance of pregnancy seems unknown to most of the general public--including many health care professionals."

Doing it this way has a lot of benefits, including the fact that it let's you keep your equipment intact ;)

Posted by Gene on March 31, 2005 at 01:46 PM MST #

Dude, Save the $$. The best form of birth control: A Blow Job. The wife and I been practicing this since the birth of our 2nd.

Posted by m@t on March 31, 2005 at 02:04 PM MST #

TMI:

Oh, this thread isn't so bad. The General category adds a little bit of color to the blog--even if that color is a disturbing range of hues between black and blue. :)

Tim

Posted by Tim Berglund on March 31, 2005 at 02:24 PM MST #

Frozen peas man... that's my advice to you. Lots of packs of frozen peas. ;)

Posted by Dan on April 01, 2005 at 08:02 AM MST #

Just got word that our third kid is on the way. As soon as the baby is born, I'm heading down to the Doctors and having it done too. My father had it done, said it was the best thing ever, couple of days of down time, and then you're better. I'll just get the Doctor to prescribe some codeine ;)

Posted by Sean Malloy on April 03, 2005 at 07:25 PM MDT #

OK I just need to chime in here. I am a little surprised to see that so many people dont even bat an eyelash when doing this procedure. In my opinion the body is sacred and everything in its function is there for a reason. No I am not some crazy right-to-lifer nor do I want to get into politics. However I just want people to know that there are alternative ways of birth control which actually are far more powerful than you could ever dream of! I read a book by Mantak Chia which changed my life. Do a search on him on amazon. Basically, after reading this book, I learned how to have orgasmic sex without ejaculating. My girl and I enjoy hours, and hours, and hours of the most seismic earth shaking cosmos aligning lovemaking. And there are no contraceptives involved.

Much better than the "blojob technique" aforementioned.

But regardless of how much sex you're having... you men should know that your sperm is your fountain of youth... a magic elixir which if at all possible should not leave your body unless you intend to *really* make another life (not just to get off). It can be the source of great creative energy if channeled properly. If I sound like a freak, then forget you even read this and go get your precious jewels sliced. But if this sounds interesting to you I recommend you read a little bit about taoist and tantric practices, they are as old as the hills and reallly truly do work.

On another note... I'm on my way to having a fully functional app based on Appfuse.... Matt, your contributions to the Java community are very very inspiring and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you healthy & speedy recovery and hope that you find happiness in all your life choices... great April Fools joke by the way!

Posted by i came here looking for appfuse information on April 05, 2005 at 09:25 PM MDT #

Are you men serious or just stupid? How the hell can you do that to your wives? Take my advise and do not get yourself cut without tell her or without her OK. It is not just your life it is hers too. My husband recently got himself fix behind my back and I will never forgive him for trying to make that choice for me. I want another baby and I will have one. He just Killed not only the child that I was supposed to have, but our marriage. I will never forgive him for that. He may be able to decide for himself that he does not want anymore kids, but he does not have to right to decide that for me.

Anyways--my point.

If you love you wife and want to keep her do not make a life decision for you both. She has a say in it too and you are not the only man on the plant that she can have a baby with.

Posted by Amy on March 02, 2009 at 08:05 PM MST #

@Amy - when I got snipped, it was my wife's idea. Even though I'm not longer married to her, I still think it was a good idea.

Posted by Matt Raible on March 02, 2009 at 08:16 PM MST #

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